Marcher dans vos Chaussures
by Dmitria
Summary: This is the sequel to Fidele a la Parole, and begins at episode 7. Milliah continues traveling with the Four Musketeers disguised as her son, Dmitri.
1. Chapter 1: Disguises

Author's Notes: I own Milliah Korsokov, Anya Korsokov, Tom Hitachi, Dmitri Hitachi, Yae Hitachi, and Colette Monique. All other characters are owned by Tow Ubukata.

This is the sequel to Fidèle à la Parole. Please read and review that before you read this This is in Milliah's point of view.

Chapter One: Disguises

"DAMN!" It had been months, but I was still feeling the pain from Voronsoff's stab wound. He was my stepfather a very long time ago, and now he was the thing I feared the most. I want to kill him for abusing and murdering my mother, and I've had dreams about how I'd kill him, but now I'm not so sure he would die by my hands.

The five of us were on their way to Saint Petersburg now, silently riding. We were dying of boredom, when the carriages came to a stop.

"Finally..." I was not myself anymore. I was disguised as my son, Dmitri, and I was going back to my motherland Russia.

I stepped on to the ground, stumbling toward the blue lake. It shimmered like sapphires, shining in the sunlight. How I wanted to jump in to the water and splash around, but I knew it would reveal my identity. So far Robin was the only one who knew, but I could see that D'eon was suspecting something, and I can't tell if he's figured it out. Telliagory is clueless, as always. I just can't Durand figure it out, not yet anyway.

I collapsed on the ground, feeling the soft green grass against my skin. I've missed the warmth of the sun, and it felt amazing just being outside, for I haven't been outside in a REALLY long time. I missed it almost as much as I missed being myself.

I could show my true colors as a man and not be discriminated against, though. I didn't have to be a woman. Although my corset was tighter than hell, I actually liked certain freedoms that came with being a man.

Durand lay down next to me. "You must be very nervous about going home."

I looked at him. "You have no idea…"

"Why? It's not like you're going to England or somewhere hostile to Frenchmen."

I shivered. Even in the heat, the mention of Saint Petersburg seemed cold to me. It reminded me of the days when Mom was alive, when Voronsoff would beat her senseless, the days when I would crawl up on the roof and cry. It was the only place where I could be alone. When Mom married Voronsoff, we moved to the questionable neighborhood where he lived, though our residence was much nicer. I didn't know why, but Voronsoff refused to stay in the palace with my mother and me. We were honored in the palace, my mother and I. We were the Empress' granddaughter and daughter in law. My father ran away years ago, for he decided that his other wife and kids were more important. But nevertheless, I lived a happy early childhood in the palace before my mother met the noble, Voronsoff.

"I really don't think that my mom would want me to talk about it, okay?" I wanted to tell him everything. He knew the base, but not the details. And I could not tell him as Dmitri, because he would ask why "my mom" would tell me all of this.

I can now see how awkward it must've been for Dmitri when I dated men when he was little.

My mind floated to the letter. Why do I tell these things to a son who has never known a father? Maybe I'm a bad mom, but if that's true, then why did Dmitri turn out so well? He is a responsible boy, a knight, and even a member of Le Secret du Roi. I wished my mind was clear so I could concentrate, and figure out what was going on.

It was hard to know what to do, and hard to know how to handle things. Especially as Dmitri, although I thought I was doing a great job.

Robin and Durand were bickering about taking naps again, and I was simply lost in thought. There wasn't really anything too serious going on at that moment, so I thought it was okay to doze off.

I had a strange dream, and I don't know how to describe it. Weird, maybe, but vivid at the very least.

Durand was there, and Robin, D'eon, and Telliagory. We were all just sitting by a lake. We were elated and just enjoying ourselves. It almost reminded me of Aunt Gidra's fairytale wedding. We got the Royal Psalms back, and were okay. D'eon and Anna were married, and my Dmitri was there with some girl of who I do not know. Empress Elizaveta and Queen Marie were present with Prince Auguste, although her husband Louis XV was not. My mother was there. My husband was there, and so was my lost daughter, Yae. Lia and Maximillien were there, too. All of my long lost, old and new friends. It seemed peaceful, and everyone had the biggest smile on their faces, everyone except me. I looked at myself and realized that I was in disguise still, but as I did it faded away. All my worries faded away in a second, everything wrong with me was gone, and the true me, the true Milliah emerged from me, wearing my favorite traditional Russian gown. I joined everyone else, smiling, enjoying every minute of the pure bliss. But then, one by one, all my comrades, friends and family faded away. They slipped away from my grasp. One by one, Marie, Anya, Anna, Auguste, Yae, Elizaveta, D'eon, Gidra, Yae, Tom, Robin, Telliagory, Dmitri all faded away. Durand was still by my side while I tried to catch them before they were gone forever. But in my quest to capture them and hold on, Durand remained by me. I turned to him.

"Why do you stay by my side? Why don't you try to save them?" I asked.

He took my hands into his. "Because, Milliah, we are all destined to fade away. We are given this small gift of life, we treasure it, and then we disappear."

With those last words, I saw his image blow away into dust. I had tried to save him as I did everyone else, but it was hopeless.

"It's my fault…I let them get away." Tears formed in my eyes.

To my surprise, I looked up and saw Durand standing over me. I was completely soaked with water, from head to toe. Luckily, I still looked like a man, so nobody would be suspicious. I looked around me and saw that I was in a pit of sand, even closer to the lake than when I remembered falling asleep.

"It was hilarious! You were running toward the lake, screaming 'Come back!' at a duck! It was scared shitless of you!" Durand was chuckling, still over me, and suddenly, a memory flashed in my mind. It was the night I shared a bed with him.

I could see it in his eyes, too.

He stood up, feeling violated. "Uhhh…Sorry about that…"

I blushed. "It's alright, pervert."

I walked into the water, for I was already soaked, so what did it matter? I cupped my hands, filling them with water, completely aware of Durand trying to sneak up on me.

Did he underestimate my senses as a man, too?

I splashed him with water. Within minutes, we were all splashing in the water, when the carriage drivers yelled at us.

"Come on! We need to get to Cologne before sunset!"

So we got back into the damn carriage, not wanting to piss them off more than we had when we asked to go to Saint Petersburg. On the way up, I rode with D'eon and Robin, but not liking the awkward silence and watching D'eon giggle when he re-read Anna's letters a million and a half times, I rode with Durand and Telliagory. I was prepared for more awkward silence, when I heard Telliagory tell a story of his days in the French Army.

"…And I cut off his head!" He snorted and chuckled like I'd never seen him before. I've never really heard him talk much, unless he was saying something wise or old-mannish, but he was seemingly hilarious now.

I wonder why, but as a man I can understand my comrades more. Now being the same gender as me, they realize that they don't have to put on the whole "gentlemen" act. The truth is: it's really just an act. When men are either by themselves on with other men, they tend to be more crudely humorous. They think that it is no way to act around a woman (although it really isn't).

Durand looked at me. It was in a completely different way than he had before the fire. He looked at me like I was just a comrade, someone who was just another guy, like him. I loved and hated it at the same time. It had its ups and downs, like not feeling the passion that was once there, but being finally recognized for what you truly are: a warrior, a swordsman, call it what you will.

I had to look away. What was he thinking? How did he feel? Maybe in due time, I would come to find out how he truly felt about me, before I "died".

"What's the matter M…" Oops. "I mean, Dmitri?"

Did he seriously almost call me Milliah? Did he know?

"Sorry…It's just that you look so much like her…"

We didn't really talk much about my "death". Robin and I did, but not the others. At least, they didn't talk about it with me. Honestly, I almost wish I had died, or I hadn't dressed like this. But it was too late to turn back now.

"Nothing's wrong, I'm just in a little pain." I tried to smile, but the wound…the pain…

"What happened to you? You are always complaining about your stomach."

I flinched. "I was in a fight with a guy on campus. He wanted to take my wallet…"

"So I punched him and he pulled out a knife..."

Would he believe it?

"Wow…Did it hurt?"

I reached over and punched him in the gut that he apparently didn't have. I could remember a few things from our "special night", but I didn't remember him being built. Nonetheless, it definitely hurt him.

"God, how I miss the awkward silence…"

"NO! YOU CAN'T GO BACK!"

I looked over at Telliagory. "Oops…That came out a little…loud…"

Oh great. More silence.

It wasn't too far now to Cologne, the city famous for its perfumed water. I thought I might buy some for after my plan was finished. In fact, I thought I might take a break from the whole "disguise". Maybe I could have a little me time.

I had decided that sometime after we arrived in Russia, I would reveal my identity to Durand. I had to, because I couldn't hold it any longer. I knew that I had to pick a precise time and place, or it could cost me, and I had to discreetly figure out how Durand would feel if I somehow came back to life.

Was I dead to him? Or was there some little part of him hoping I was still alive? I wish I could just rip off these man clothes and tell him the truth, but I knew that being a member of Le Secret du Roi, the mission always came before one's feelings.

Why was I even loyal to the king? In all honesty, I believe that he is simply discarding knights without any honor whatsoever, but I was not as open to betrayal as Maximillien. I almost wanted to tell Durand and the others what Maximillien had been up to lately, particularly in the Revolutionary Brethren, but I decided that they would ask way too many questions.

Maximillien Robespierre, a name I hadn't thought of in depth for a very long time. The last time I saw that bastard, he was attacking me with his entire army of gay little poet buddies.

Cologne came into sight, and brought with it an endless amount of conversation between Durand and Telliagory.

It was still a long, long way to Saint Petersburg.


	2. Chapter 2: Gargoyles

Author's Notes: I own Milliah Korsokov, Anya Korsokov, Yae Hitachi, Dmitri Hitachi, Tom Hitachi, and Colette Monique.

This is in Milliah's point of view

Chapter 2: Gargoyles

I was just zoning out, staring out the window. Durand and Telliagory were talking about the same crap as before. Nothing really new, except the city. We were more into the heart of Cologne, known for its Cathedral and eau de cologne spray.

"So, Dmitri…Have you ever had a girl that you really liked?"

My blood stopped. Seriously? Why did half the crap that came out of his mouth have to be meaningless or stupid? Maybe that was why I loved him so much. I think that I had known him long enough to be able to say it, but I was still searching for the same mutual love from him. I knew that as long as I was Dmitri I would never be able to get him to love me, unless he was either a pedophile or gay. And although my son is grown up, I would still be creeped out if there was some guy Durand's age crushing on him.

"Uh…I really don't know how to answer that. I mean, haven't we all?"

God, why do you make these awkward conversations happen?

We approached an inn on the opposite side of town that we had entered, so we weren't mixed in with the hustle and bustle of the city. It was on a hillside, the kind of place that you would say, "Nothing bad can happen there, right?"

The innkeeper greeted us. "You certainly are traveling lightly for going north."

I could see that Durand was thinking the same as I was. Something wasn't right.

Durand was the one who broke the silence. "We are jewel dealers. That case might not be big, but it is filled with precious jewels. But don't tell anyone, because even in Cologne, you wouldn't want anyone getting the wrong idea."

The man helped us carry our case upstairs. After he left us in our room, he must've left for the day.

"This isn't good, Durand…" I said.

Nobody else heard me except him. Robin proceeded by complaining about his butt.

"Come on we're leaving."

"What? Durand, we just got here!" Robin was clueless.

"You didn't realize, did you? We never told him we were going north."

Even I was surprised by how quickly we got out, but I was disappointed in the fact that we would spend the rest of the night looking for an inn. Durand and I searched east, Robin and Telliagory went west, D'eon went north, and the carriage drivers searched in the south side of the city.

"They must have poets tracking our movements. We need to leave the city, but we can't because of the horses. In my opinion, we would be better off just sleeping in the streets."

"A wise thinker, just like your mother." Durand smiled. "You're certainly her son. I miss her so much, but I think I've come to terms with it. I still can't believe that she's gone…She seemed like one of the least likely people to die…And the hardest thing to accept is that I never told her I loved her, like she told me. It took her death to make me realize I loved her, but that's life, isn't it?"

Oh…

He loved me?

"Well, I'm sure she felt the same way, Durand…You were the one she wanted to introduce me to, weren't you?"

"I guess…"

What? How many signs did I have to give him? Do I really have to come out and say "Hey, I'm not dead"?

All of the sudden, he lunged at me, screaming "Milliah! Come back to me, my love!"

I was like, "Get the hell off of me!" in my sexy man voice. I was so good at being a guy.

Damn, though. I really didn't expect that to happen. What the hell? Was he gay now?

"Sorry…Every once in a while I look at you and can only see your mother. What if you and your mother were like D'eon and Lia? What if her soul lives inside of you? Would you let me see her?"

I didn't have an answer to that. Why the hell couldn't he just guess?

"Listen, Durand. When we get to Russia, I really, really need to show you something, and I have to tell you something really important, but I can't do it here." I gave him my coldest, most hateful stare, one that I had only given to Voronsoff. "But if you EVER do that again, I will kick your ass."

Eventually, the five of us met back in the heart of the city. The aroma from the daytime perfume vendors still hung high in the air, but something wasn't quite right. There was an immense silence around us, so cold and bitter and...

Wrong…

Before I knew it, we were being attack by huge dogs, coming at us from every angle except the wall. We were surrounded by these poor creatures that had been turned into zombie-like things…

"Gargoyles…" D'eon was just staring off into the distance, looking at a single carriage off in the distance.

I've heard that so many times now it isn't even surprising that we'd run into them here. All of us had our swords drawn, surrounding D'eon while Lia took over his body. Amazingly enough, I was still unused to hearing Lia's voice. I'd heard of her failed relationship with Durand, but I never imagined that she would just discard such a loyal, strong man as himself. He was a great fencer, swordsman, and was of incomparable loyalty, but she tossed him away like something she didn't even care about. Lia was my friend, but I think that she was so torn up by protecting France and her status that she thought she was better than him, which was true in some areas, but they were pretty much on the same level.

I watched his beautiful swings. He had a great stance, but he wasn't aggressive enough. He needed something to draw power from, but I didn't know what.

Robin was just standing there. He's lucky that Durand swooped in there to save his sorry ass just in time before the dog scratched the shit out of him.

I was trying (and failing) to focus on my swordplay. However, I was more interested in what D'eon or Lia or whatever was doing. He was on top of a freaking roof with a huge dog on the other end and he was coming at it like I come at the ice cream bar.

I just don't understand Lia, or at least not now. She never seemed this aggressive, and I never once saw her hurt another person, except when I watched her failed relationship with Durand from the distance. Did he even know about me back then? I knew about him, but he never once saw me, or spoke to me or probably even heard about me. How did we never cross paths until now? And most importantly, did he still love Lia? If so, does he love her even more than he could ever love me?

There was so much going on around me, and I was frozen with fear. I felt like my body would not respond to me, and that wouldn't have been a problem if I wasn't in that situation. It wouldn't have been a problem if I wasn't on the ground about to be torn open by a dog.

Was Durand tired of saving people tonight? I would've been, especially when it was half past three in the morning, and we were being attacked by a herd of gargoyle-dogs after a rough day of riding in that damn carriage. But I guess he wasn't because he certainly swooped in and saved me. He pulled that bastard off of me and slashed across the H.'.O on its forehead. I always hated the part when the mercury oozed out, because it got EVERYWHERE and it looked so nasty.

I wanted to throw up. Why was I letting this happen to myself? On any other day I could've killed than damn thing, but maybe today just wasn't my day.

Eventually, we they stopped coming at us. Our next order of business was to get D'eon down from the roof, if we could figure out how he even got up there.

It took a while, but we gave up and decided to sleep on the street. There was no place that we could trust and at the break of dawn we would have to high-tail it out of there. This was our last stop before Saint Petersburg.

It was my last stop before home.

I wondered how it had changed. Grandmother Elizaveta always held a ball tomorrow night, but I wondered how it had changed. I'd heard talk of reforms and whatnot, but I knew that was because of Lia. She wasn't just my friend but a friend to her Royal Highness as well, and I couldn't even imagine how Elizaveta is fairing without Lia.

It was none of my business anyway.

I hated that damn carriage, and the idiot driving it too. It was really pissing me off that I had gotten no sleep, my damn stomach was hurting, and everyone was really in a pissy mood.

_Damn my life. _I thought. _Did I really die in that fire? Am I in hell now? _

Maybe hell was better than what I was going through there.

"Dmitri, how much longer?" Durand was getting whiny. Was everything turning against me? I remembered when things seemed so perfect, when I had people in my life. I still had those people, but that was a completely different situation.

That was when I saw something familiar.

There was snow, falling from the sky, caressing it softly. Through it, I saw the Winter Palace.

Saint Petersburg.

_Mom, I'm home._


End file.
